I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
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