Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
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