Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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