Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
