Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
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