That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
