Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
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