Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
