my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
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