i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Randomize
