I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
