Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
Four minutes until I can fart!
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize
