I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
A+ Viking dick
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
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