She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
Randomize
