So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
