Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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