I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
Randomize
