Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
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