if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
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