the police officer looked at my vomit and told me "milk was a bad choice"
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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