1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
I think i sorta joined a cult last night
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Randomize
