I like to think it a success when the cops are called
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
i now understand why vodka
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
