So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
Randomize
