He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Randomize
