Where are you?
In a non slutty way
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
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