i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Randomize
