"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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