if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
