Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
