I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
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