I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
We got so high we made milksteak
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
