i need an iv and a liver transplant
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize
