I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
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