Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
