I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
Randomize
