hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
so that wasnt chicken after all
I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize
