we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
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