So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
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