how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
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