The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Randomize
