You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
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