I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
