It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
