what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
Holy shit dude........stairs
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
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