kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
