I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Randomize
