It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
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