I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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