Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
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