I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
stop calling my apartment porn island.
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
as a side note pls kill me
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
