defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
