i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
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