i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
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